A Love Story That Endures
I met my husband, Ross, when I was just a teenager. Despite not running in the same circles, fate seemed determined to bring us together at every opportunity. I believe this is the essence of a soul mate: no matter the distance or time apart, you always find your way back to each other. This was our story.
At first glance, Ross had a tough exterior and carried a high school tough guy reputation to match. However, I saw an endearing side to him that few others did. He possessed a kindness that radiated, especially when he interacted with children and animals. Watching him with my nieces and nephews is a cherished memory; it made me realize how perfect he was for me.
Our journey, however, wasn’t without its challenges. At the beginning of our relationship, Ross struggled with drug addiction, and we faced many ups and downs. If you’ve ever been close to someone grappling with addiction, you know how truly difficult it can be. You feel helpless because there’s nothing you can do except watch the person you love become someone you don’t even recognize. Addiction strips away the essence of the individual, and it is painful to see them fall so far from grace. Ross went from being an intelligent early childhood educator to a person I didn’t want to be around.
He tried often to stop, but he kept relapsing. It wasn’t until he went to treatment that things began to turn around, as he finally started addressing the root of his addiction—underlying abandonment issues. As someone who is adopted, I can understand how debilitating that can be. I battled my own demons with a gambling addiction, and we enabled each other; never a good combination. After treatment, Ross committed to his recovery, and we found each other once again.
He became my rock, my calm amid the chaos, my "Mo Anam Cara."
Ross was more than his addiction. He was an amazing father, loyal friend and gifted singer, his powerful voice filled the air with raw emotion. One of his former bandmates often remarked, "Ross had the most incredible and versatile voice I’ve ever heard. He sang with such conviction that I could feel the words.
The grief from his loss has been an ongoing and deeply painful process for both myself and our children. Ross instilled in me the values of forgiveness, love, and friendship—principles I treasure dearly.
Though he may no longer be with us, his spirit remains alive in the memories we created together. I carry him with me in every child I encounter and in every moment I cherish.
Ross will forever be a part of me—a beloved soul mate who left an everlasting mark on my life. If I could share one last moment with him, I would tell him that I finally understand that the little things that once bothered me are now sources of comfort and strength. For example, remembering to put gas in the car!
As we journeyed through life together, our bond deepened while we watched our children blossom into the incredible adults they are today. We were soul mates in the purest sense, understanding each other on a level that few could. Friends first, we navigated our hardest moments together and we knew that at the end of all things we had each other.
I am not alone; you taught me everything I needed to know to navigate this life without you, and for that, I am eternally grateful. I am finally learning to embrace love once again.
Mo Anam Cara.